Traditional Rugby Songs

The Tradition
There are literally thousands of rugby songs. Traditionally, you’d sing these songs in a bar after practices or during the Third Half. A team will usually adopt (or adapt) three or four songs they expect all their players to know.

Rugby songs are not for the politically correct. They are characteristically base, ribald and juvenile. And you’ll love every minute of singing them.

You might have some questions about some odd behavior that occur when we sing these songs:

Everyone seems to be forming a circle…
Yep, that usually happens at when someone gets the songs started.

He’s holding his cup/beer bottle to his head…
He’s asking for his turn. Most rugby songs have many verses. He’s holding that cup to his head to signify that he wants to sing the next verse.

They all seem to be pointing to the guy with the beer on this head with their elbows…
Even after you put that cup to your head, it’s not a given that you get to pick the next verse. Everyone in the circle will point to you with their elbows to tell you that yes, you are the leader.

The Songs
Here are some popular rugby songs sung by Fog Rugby:

If I Were the Marrying Kind (a.k.a, The Rugby Song)
(This song is a classic and required knowledge by every rugger. Practically every team sings it, usually tweaking it to fit the team’s personality. Obviously not every verse is sung, because the song would be way too long, but we wanted to give you an idea of the variations. )

I were the marrying kind
Which thank the lord I’m not, sir
the kind of rugger I would wed
would be a rugby …..

(team points to the hooker. Hooker puts beer on top of head)
HOOKER: Hooker sir!

GROUP: Why sir?

HOOKER:
’cause I’d swipe balls, and you’d swipe balls
we’d all swipe balls together
we’d be alright in the middle of the night
swiping balls together

GROUP:
If I were the marrying kind
Which thank the lord I’m not, sir
the kind of rugger I would wed
would be a rugby …..

(team points to the props. Props put beer on head)
PROPS: Prop sir!

GROUP: Why sir?

PROPS:
’cause I’d support a hooker
and you’d support a hooker
we’d all support a hooker together
we’d be alright in the middle of the night
supporting hookers together

Other verses:
2nd Row : grab Crotch, sniff Butt
Flanker: get off quick
No. 8: hold until you come
Scrumhalf: put it in, grab balls
Flyhalf: whip it out, call shots
Centers: look for the hole, pass out
Wing: go hard, never get it, come too fast, spread it wide
Fullback: kick balls, get fucked, find touch
Any Forward: get stripped
Any Back: get laid
Scrum: go down
Rule Book: get violated
Shorts: go up your butt
Halftime Orange: get sucked
Mouthguard: get licked, get sucked
Spectator: get to watch
Spectator on a rainy day: come in rubber, be wet
Spectator on a sunny day: come again
Goal Posts: get split, stand erect
Cleats: get screwed
Groundskeeper: trim bush, do lines
Whistle: get blown
Boot:: come in boxes, get tied up
Ball: strapped in leather, get touched, get pumped
Pitch: grow weed, be hard
Team from far away: come for hours
Team on a bus: get off
Drunk Team: get fucked up